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  1. Yesterday
  2. Certainly Ghostbusters if the original team is in it, and not some kids. And possibly wonder woman, when l can rent it, (l am a sucker for 80's flashbacks).
  3. Last week
  4. About half an hours worth so you should eat popcorn and pretend you are in the cinema as you watch this. Includes the new James Bond, The new Top Gun and a new Marvel film called Morbius.I don't see one called "Covid19" as yet. I expect that will be next year.
  5. I knew that last joke would bring out all the nuts.
  6. Two guys who live across the street from each other and share a mutual hatred of each other. One of them discovers an old lamp and after giving it a polish a genie appears. "I hereby grant you three wishes, but think carefully on what you wish for as I will grant your neigbour who you hate double whatever you get", says the genie. For his first wish the guy asks for a luxury mansion fitted with all the latest mod cons. SHAZAM! The guy finds himself in a luxury mansion with all the latest gadgets and technology. He looks across the street and see his hated neighbour now has a mansion twice the size. For his second wish the guy asks to be surrounded by a dozen beautiful women. SHAZAM! He finds himself surrounded by twelve of the most beautiful women on earth. He looks across the street and sees his neighbour is surrounded by two dozen of the world's most beautiful women. "Time for your third and final wish", the genie informs the guy. The guy thinks long and hard on this before finally saying, "I wish that one of my testicles was removed".
  7. For non French speakers, the title of this video is "Say it with flowers":
  8. Yes, every time l go out, and get a decadent coffee, and imperialist dog cake, and evil paper, it is anyone's guess how long it will be until the goon squad shows up to give me the boot. Today l got away with almost 2 hours, before one shopping ctr staff, said that a new rule came in, and no one was allowed to sit on our bench seats anymore. Then l went to another section, with 2 police officers walking past, and a few more security people, none gave a s...t. It is probably the new rule, they are trying to push that two people in public is the limit, and anymore will be fined, and probably put up against a wall with a cigarette? The person in this video looking like our health minister in my state is purely,.......umm, never mind!
  9. The Evil Vampire Count never owned a ruler due to Transylvania taking Draconian Measures
  10. And Magpies are a protected species, dammit!
  11. Well, someone at Yelp decided to reject my edit and reverted it back to the old one. So I wrote a new one and this one has stuck for about 4-5 hours now.
  12. Do they sell real ale at your SEO Pub?
  13. Sorry Mark cannot read it, going out for a coffee, cake and newspaper these days is punishable by death. One of those running dog things?
  14. What do you get at a Pun Theatre.....A Play on Words
  15. Talking of laughs, this is a tweet from someone well known that just went out. I wonder if you can guess who it is. "The LameStream Media is the dominant force in trying to get me to keep our Country closed as long as possible in the hope that it will be detrimental to my election success. The real people want to get back to work ASAP. We will be stronger than ever before!"
  16. Perhaps Mexico will pay for the wall after all.
  17. Coronavirus: Mexicans demand crackdown on Americans crossing the border. well there's a turnup for the books. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-52053656
  18. Charles sick, and another in self isolation, because she gave too many speeches in the cold, that is two down.
  19. Edit: Prince Charles wore the Coronavirus.
  20. In breaking news it has been confirmed that Prince Charles, the heir to the throne of England, has tested positive for COVID-19 after a meeting with Prince Albert of Monaco, who has also tested positive. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-25/prince-charles-tests-positive-for-coronavirus/12090930 Now, you might be asking yourself. "Self, why is Whatty posting a serious news item in a thread dedicated to jokes?" My reply is if you can't see the humour of someone catching a disease after having contact with a prince albert then.....
  21. I hear that Disney is doing a remake of Snow white and the sixth dwarfs, Sneazy was quarantined.
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