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whateverpedia

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whateverpedia last won the day on March 29

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About whateverpedia

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    Investing, stockmarket (ASX), current events, history, movies, and funny stuff.

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  1. I knew that last joke would bring out all the nuts.
  2. Two guys who live across the street from each other and share a mutual hatred of each other. One of them discovers an old lamp and after giving it a polish a genie appears. "I hereby grant you three wishes, but think carefully on what you wish for as I will grant your neigbour who you hate double whatever you get", says the genie. For his first wish the guy asks for a luxury mansion fitted with all the latest mod cons. SHAZAM! The guy finds himself in a luxury mansion with all the latest gadgets and technology. He looks across the street and see his hated neighbour now has a mansion twice the size. For his second wish the guy asks to be surrounded by a dozen beautiful women. SHAZAM! He finds himself surrounded by twelve of the most beautiful women on earth. He looks across the street and sees his neighbour is surrounded by two dozen of the world's most beautiful women. "Time for your third and final wish", the genie informs the guy. The guy thinks long and hard on this before finally saying, "I wish that one of my testicles was removed".
  3. For non French speakers, the title of this video is "Say it with flowers":
  4. Perhaps Mexico will pay for the wall after all.
  5. In breaking news it has been confirmed that Prince Charles, the heir to the throne of England, has tested positive for COVID-19 after a meeting with Prince Albert of Monaco, who has also tested positive. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-25/prince-charles-tests-positive-for-coronavirus/12090930 Now, you might be asking yourself. "Self, why is Whatty posting a serious news item in a thread dedicated to jokes?" My reply is if you can't see the humour of someone catching a disease after having contact with a prince albert then.....
  6. Your horoscope for the week:
  7. After getting all of the Pope’s luggage loaded into the limo – and he doesn’t travel light – the chauffeur notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. “Excuse me, Your Holiness,” says the chauffeur, “Would you please take your seat so we can leave?” “Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I’d really like to drive today.” “I’m sorry but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job! And what if something should happen?” protests the chauffeur. “There might be something extra in it for you,” says the Pope. Reluctantly, the chauffeur gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph. “Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!” pleads the worried chauffeur, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. “Oh, dear God, I’m gonna lose my license,” moans the chauffeur. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. “I need to talk to the Chief,” he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going a hundred and five. “So bust him,” says the Chief. “I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really important,” said the cop. The Chief exclaimed,” All the more reason!” “No, I mean really important,” said the cop. The Chief then asked, “Who ya got there, the Mayor?” “Bigger.” “Governor?” The Chief asked. “Bigger.” “Well,” said the Chief, “Who is it?” “I think it’s God!” the cop exclaimed. “What makes you think that?” “Well for one thing, he’s got the Pope as a chauffeur.”
  8. In breaking news it has been confirmed that COVID-19 has tested positive for being infected with Harvey Weinstein. (See Mark, that's how you do it).
  9. Don't. Just don't. You're better than that.
  10. He posted that because he thinks the precautionary measures being implemented are a joke.
  11. Two short videos with a similar theme. NSFW
  12. That's his other son James, who has been very critical of the rampant climate change denialism endemic in Newscorp and FoxNews. Then again, he was deeply involved in the UK phone hacking scandal of a few years ago. So, a bit of a mixed bag. Incidentally I've seen many people say/write that the best way Mike Bloomberg could spend the masses of money he currently is, is to buy out FoxNews. As FoxNews is about the only asset left in the Murdoch empire that makes a profit, would they actually sell it though?
  13. OK, so that takes care of humans. What about other life forms such as garden gnomes? Asking for (not) a friend.
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